Posted on Thursday, 21 January 2016

Following on from their trip to Vienna's Christmas markets, we join up once again with Julianne and Brian as they look to explore the island of Madeira.

Madeira: Cake, Wine and Brian's i-Thingy

It was during a day trip to Porto Santo, located 43 kilometres (27 miles) northeast of Madeira Island, that I really started to get annoyed with Brian and his new i-Pad thing. I knew Porto Santo's precise location because Brian's new toy told him - and he told me.

"Porto Santo was discovered accidentally after captains were storm-blown into its sheltered harbour in 1418."

"Brian, will you put that thing away and enjoy these wonderful natural surroundings?" – we were on Porto Santo's delightful Golden Beach.

"In terms of tourism, Porto Santos' nine kilometre long Golden Beach gives it a distinct advantage over the larger Madeira, where –"

"Brian!" – I was beginning to wish I hadn't bought him the silly thing for Christmas.

"Sorry dear, this Wikipedia website seems to know everything."

Funchal

After the pleasant two hour ferry trip back to Madeira, we sat enjoying our afternoon coffee in a little café in Funchal, the island's capital.

Brian was still on his iPad. I eyed him accusatively.

"Sorry dear," he said, "it's just I'm planning our trip up to Pico Ruivo tomorrow. It says here we can get a bus up to a place called Poiso and then walk the last seven kilometres. Not too strenuous, according to this review."

It had been a rather leisurely holiday up until then – a much-needed escape from wintry Milton Keynes. But we hadn't really done much in terms of activities, so a short walk up to Pico Ruivo – the highest peak on Madeira – certainly seemed in order. We do like to keep ourselves in good shape – and try not to let our age stop us from being active.

Pico Ruivo

However, early next morning, as we got off at the small lofty village of Poiso after a hair-raising bus-trip along some rather precarious mountainside roads, we soon realised that the walk up to Pico Ruivo was going to be a little more challenging than the Internet had led us to believe.

"Crikey, Brian, these paths are a bit narrow."

"Yes dear, it didn't mention them in the reviews."

“And it's cold up here. Your review didn't mention that either!”

By the time we reached Pico Ruivo we were exhausted. However, the views down the mountainsides were staggeringly beautiful and well worth the effort. We both agreed, however, that a taxi or organised tour bus would have been better than attempting the hike by foot – at least for us.

"I'm not going to walk back down to Poiso, Brian."

"No dear."

"Can't you look up a taxi number on that wonderful device of yours and organise us a lift back to Funchal?"

"I can't dear, the battery's dead."

"Not so clever now, is it?"

Thankfully we found a cab driver with a people carrier. He was waiting for a Birmingham couple to come back from the look-out point, but said there was plenty of space for us. He charged us 20 euros a head to get back down the mountain, but it was worth it.

Cake & Wine

By the early afternoon we were back in Funchal and we soon found ourselves in another charming cafe, keen to plan some pursuits of a more sedate variety. Brian had charged his iPad thing again.

"Madeira is known as The Floating Garden, thanks to the many..."

"Flowers, Brian, the many flowers, yes I can see that for myself, I don't need your i-thingy to tell me. Brian, what are we going to do this afternoon?"

After a pause of about ten minutes, Brian said: "We could go and see, and I quote, the impressive art collection of the solicitor Dr. Frederico de Freitas, housed in the Eighteenth century former residence of the venerable collector..."

"You know what I fancy, Brian, some Madeira cake."

"Oh that's a good idea, dear."

But within minutes, Brian's iPad had put a dampener on my sugary urges.

"There is no Madeira cake..."

"What nonsense, Brian."

"Madeira cake doesn't come from Madera. It come s from England."

"But we just left there, Brian. So why on Earth is it called Madeira cake?"

"Because it is traditionally served with Madeira wine."

"Madeira wine? Now there's an idea. Or is that from England too? I'm beginning to wonder why we came here at all."

"Yes, Madeira wine is actually from Madeira, dear. If you'd like, we could visit a vineyard called Blundy's Wine Lodge, it's got great reviews and it's not far from Funchal – according to this TripAdvisor thing."

Blandy's Wine Museum in Funchal, Madeira (kavram/Bigstock.com)

Now this idea got us both very excited, since we do like our wine-tasting.

"Madeira wine's unique taste is due the process by which the wine is heated to up to 60 degrees..."

"Never mind all that Brian, where is it? How do we get there?"

"Oh."

"Oh what?"

"It's turned off, I don't think I charged it enough."

"Oh honestly, Brian. Waiter! Two glasses of Madeira wine! And a charger for an i-thingy, too!"

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