Posted on Wednesday, 17 January 2018

Julianne and Brian Reed embark on a quintessential Greek beach holiday on Zante. The idyllic azure-blue waters and castor sugar beaches promised fun and relaxation - so long as no creatures with eight tentacles appeared...

"I'm glad I'm not up there anymore," I said to Brian, gazing up at Navagio viewpoint. "Although I must say the view was amazing".

We'd found a quiet-ish spot to lay out the beach mat, giving us an impressive view of the old shipwreck and the many bronzed bodies that were arranged by the tumbling waves at the water's edge. The gas-blue sea stretched out to the horizon between the two gigantic limestone cliffs that enclosed Navagio Beach.

"You don't fancy a spot of base jumping in the afternoon, then?" replied Brian with a wry grin.

"I will if you will," I said, prompting Brian's smile to vanish.

"Do you know," Brian said, changing the subject, "that 20 nobles from Zakynthos were among Penelope's suitors in Homer's Odyssey?"

"Well, I'm sure Penelope would have liked them very much," I said, peering over my sunglasses at a group of attractive Adonis-types nearby.

Brian tutted, "I think they're German, dear. Besides, Odysseus killed all of Penelope's suitors, so Penelope would have been disappointed."

"If I were ten years younger..."

"Ten years?"

"Oh you are a one, Brian. Fancy a swim?"

"You go love, I'll take care of the things."

Brian's long-standing fear of certain eight-tentacled aquatic beasties meant he was more of a paddler than a swimmer when on holiday. The closest he would come to being an Ionian mariner was visiting Milton Keynes swimming pool on a Saturday afternoon.

I have to say that Zante - or Zakynthos to the Greeks - had brought out the best in my Brian. The English cold had chilled us to the bone - now we were out in the sun everyday and absorbing a little of the Greeks' laid-back attitude.

We were staying on the south eastern part of Zante, in Kyprianos Apartments on Keri beach. Keri was a charming little village and Kyprianos was surrounded by pungent olive groves and palm trees, which ensured we were enveloped in quiet. Probably rather basic by some peoples' standards, but these apartments were perfect for our needs. Besides, we had planned to spend as long as possible out in the sunshine - a plan which was coming together rather well.

"I think it would have been rather romantic back in the ancient times, Brian, popping olives down at the market place. They must have had lovely suntans."

"If you were a lady back then you would have caked yourself in white lead to stop yourself getting a suntan. Bronzed bodies weren't the rage in those days."

"Oh. Shame."

"And you wouldn't be popping olives down at the market place if you were a slave," said Brian.

We'd hired a car and travelled around the island, seeking out quiet little coves. One of the loveliest had been Porto Limnionas Beach, which we'd discovered on the way to Porto Roxa.

Perched at the top of the cliffs at Limnionas was a delightful little taverna, from which steep steps descended to a row of old boat houses.

Finding a shady spot by some rocks in the bay, we took in the dazzling cobalt blue of the sea and the wild, rocky land around us. It really was the most enchanting place.

I even hired a snorkel and ventured out over the rocks and into the warm water.

Brian, of course, 'watched our things' - but we both knew that the Ionian Sea was a hot bed of octopus activity.

However, I didn't glimpse a single octopus. I did spot some charming little fish though, which soon put me in mind for dinner.

Later, back up in the taverna, we ordered our food, accompanied with a bottle of ouzo. Our meals arrived just as the sun began to wane over the glittering Ionian Sea.

My lavraki - or sea bass - was laid down first. Then came Brian's. I couldn't help but shake my head - once again - in incredulity as it was placed down in front of him.

It was large plate of grilled octopus.

"Oh honestly, Brian, you can't get in the water with one, but you can have one for dinner!"

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